Into the Friendzone: EnglandxVampire!Reader

You never knew your heart could do gymnastic stunts until Arthur Kirkland rushed to your side with that bright smile etched on his British face.

"Good morning, ___________!" he greeted.

"Good morning, Arthur!" You greeted back with your best smile.

"Let me take care of that," He took your books as well as your school bag and freed your hands.

"Oh Arthur," You giggled at your gentleman and walked your way to the classroom. "What's that on your pouch?"

"These!" His emerald eyes lit up like an open fire and presented his pouch with arms spread in the air. "Would you like to taste some of my world class scones?"

With his statement you froze.  After seeing Alfred confined at the hospital last year because of food poisoning (that was the day he ate Arthur's scones), you made a mental note not to taste them. Ever.

"Sure!" you said as you searched your brains for the least offensive excuses. "But maybe some other time. I just had breakfast!"

"Oh, what a shame," he said, his pouch dropped in slight disappointment. "No problem, you can take them home."

You had nothing but a smile to answer back.

Arthur Kirkland is one of the nicest friends you've ever had. He was one of the first few people who befriended you when you moved in the city last year. He told you he was a new comer as well, which was pretty much evident in his accent, only he moved a year ahead of you. You and him spent time together, having tea (but he never offered you his scones until today), wondering and talking about anything under the sun. His company is very congenial‒ the kind that you'll look for whenever he's not around.

You were oblivious of his feelings until he confessed a few months later, only to be rejected. He liked you from the first time you've met and he'd been rehearsing how to tell you his feelings ever since… but you never accepted them. The best that he could do is to be the best-est friend you'll ever have.

"Er… __________?" he asked.

"Yeah?" you answered. Sometimes, Arthur makes you nervous whenever he starts talking funny all of a sudden.

"I'm-I'm just wondering… A-are you free this Friday night?" he said and froze to where he was. He took interest on the ground as his eyes studied every pebble. "My f-family and I are having dinner together, it's my cousin's birthday actually, and I wondered if you might want to come… They said they want to meet you."

The last sentence came out rather softly; enough for you to believe it didn't escape his lips at all. Seeing no response from you, his face glowed red and looked like he wanted to shove his words back to his mouth.

"I-I-It's alright if you don't want to, really," he said. The poor guy looks like he's going to hyperventilate any second. "Silly family." He gave you a nervous laugh.

Question: What do you call someone who'd have the guts to decline his awkward cuteness? Answer: A monster like you.

"Arthur… I wish I could come, I really do," you said. Despite the apologetic tone of your voice, you were mentally pulling out a bulldozer and slowly running it over Arthur, just like what you've done a lot of times before. "But I've already made plans for Friday night." You caught yourself unable to look at him in the eye.

He nodded and started walking a bit too faster. "Perhaps next time?"

"Absolutely," you confirmed and entered the classroom.

"Have a nice day," he said after handing your things but didn't even let you see his face. He went for the door.

"You too."

It's not like you don't like him. God knows how much you like the Brit! Every part of you screams his name. Your brain, your frozen heart, your skin and even your hair… you name it. But you know better. You're placing him into the pit of the friendzone simply because he doesn't deserve you. You're just this filthy, soulless bloodsucking monster who lives in the shadows. What will he say once he finds out that all the blood flowing in your veins is evil? Does he really like you up to that extent?

You've lived a number of centuries by now to know too much. You never intend to hurt him in the end. You've loved countless of times before and all of them ended up in heartbreak. You've seen love die right in front of you. If he finds out what you really are, he won't be able to take it. There's no way he'll love you. He won't stay with you, much less look at you in the eye, so you'd rather have him where he is.


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You weren't lying when you told Arthur you've already made plans for Friday night. The truth is that you'd be partying with your monster friends‒ the Dane, Mathias, is celebrating his 700th-ish birthday. You've secluded yourself from your kind for a year, never showed yourself to anyone, and it was enough for you to miss everyone and toss yourself back to the vampiric limelight.

Before making an entrance inside the bar, you pulled your clothes for one last time and convinced yourself that you looked okay. Forget the mirrors. They've never been useful since you could remember.

You secretly thank Twilight for giving an almost-accurate description of your kind. You act just like typical humans. They barely even notice your kind existing in the same society. You don't sleep in coffins like most people believe in (screw them for that). You don't really sleep and breathe; doing so is only for decoration. But surprise! You don't glitter under the sunlight. Vampires just can't take exposing themselves under the sun for too long. They're most comfortable in cold, if not dark, gloomy places. Sure, you do have the unrealistic pale complexion and occasional glowing red eyes. During the day, vampires are very much human-like but when the night falls, that's when you take full control of the darkness.

"__________!" Tino, one of Mathias' brothers, welcomed you. "So glad you came!"

"I'm glad I came too," you replied and kissed his cheek as a traditional greeting. The Finnish took you by the hand and let you join the party.

Ever since this life, you've never been so close to anyone as the Nordics. They were your childhood friends, as humans call it, and even treat you as their own sister… They grew sad when you decided to leave them the year before.

Everyone seemed so psyched to see you again. They welcomed and squished and kissed you and offered liquor anywhere you went. They asked all the same questions and you went tired repeating the same answer for a million times.

"Let's dance!" Mathias the celebrant took your hand and dragged you to the dance floor.
You laughed as you did your moves, trying to copy the others. It was a little awkward but it felt great. You couldn't find the words to describe how happy you are to be back and be welcomed in open arms.

You scanned the entire area. As usual, humans were at least thrice the number of the vampires present to ensure 'food security'. You couldn't really tell who the vampires are if you wouldn't look closely. Bright and beautiful under the glimmering lights, they're all the same. You just haven't met some of the vampires before.

Some went in and out of the dance floor. Some confined in the dark, smooching, but more like sucking each other's lips. Some shouted that they'd be playing games, probably in a sound-proof compartment where clueless humans would spend their last moments. In a way, you felt bad for them. Not for long, this place would be smothered with agonized screaming and blood. Human body parts would be toyed around for a little entertainment. Nobody would be spared.

It took a little time to get away from the clutches of your dance partners. You decided to give yourself a break and went to the counter to get yourself a drink.

If Arthur would be here…

You were about to sip your whiskey when a familiar blond caught your eye. Was the liquor taking effect and messing up with your brain? You tried to shake the image away but it didn't seem like an illusion. You got to your feet and approached him. Your mind raced as every step took you closer.

It doesn't make any sense. What's he doing here? He said he has a family gathering tonight. But that doesn't matter. He had to get out! He doesn't know what danger he's in!

"Arthur?" He turned at the mention of his name and slight surprise masked his face upon seeing you.

He was the one who should panic, but it turned out that you were already doing the job for him. You wanted the British to run for his dear life before things could get ugly. But of course, he's as clueless as every human at the bar!

Before you could say some more, Lukas intervened.

"So you've met. You never had the chance to meet before, did you?" Lukas said. "__________, this is our distant cousin, Arthur. Arthur, this is our close friend, __________."

Right at that moment, you felt the world spinning around you. Wait. What did Lukas say? You took time to absorb everything.

"This isn't one of your nasty jokes, right Lukas?" you asked the Norwegian and punched him in the arm.

He smiled… the kind that looked like suppressing a laugh.

Your eyes shifted back to Arthur. He looked pretty much the same except for his dark clothes. The Brit usually dons a classy sweater, slacks and leather loafers. Tonight… the person in front of you could be Arthur's evil twin… an alter ego.

He sported a black leather jacket and skin tight jeans embellished with straps and silver chains that matched the skull ring on his finger. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, giving them a stern outline. His aura is so strong, you found yourself irrevocably attracted.

All this time?

You might have been staring at him for an eternity until he melted you with his smile. If it was possible, your long-frozen heart leapt. The predatory glint in his once-emerald eyes was hard to miss, so was the bite mark glimmering on the side of his neck.

"Hello, __________," Arthur greeted but didn't do the accustomed. Instead, he bowed and kissed your hand, giving you that blood-spattered gaze you've never seen before.